Road Warriors: Los Angeles

The road to LA

We left our awesome hotel suite in Kingman, AZ early yesterday, drove through the California desert, and got to LA around 12:30 pm. Not a lot of roadkill on this leg of the Big Adventure, but we're kind of over it anyway. We saw two accidents, the only two of our trip, in the desert.

I didn't think LA driving or the traffic was particularly bad -- similar to Boston, but there are more lanes and people actually yield here -- but my mother was visibly nervous, clinging to the handle of my car. AND she was already upset because we had to stop at the California border for a quick inspection. "I don't appreciate being treated like I'm not an American!!" she ranted. They were checking for things that could bring in fruit flies. I unknowingly smuggled in two bananas, which will undoubtedly be the downfall of the great state of California.

So it was a welcome sight when my Aunt Beth greeted us with champagne upon arrival in Silverlake:

That picture makes it look like she has a stump arm.

We got some fish tacos and cupcakes and relaxed for the evening. Today we're going to hike in Griffith Park and take Momma to Hollywood. Venice Beach and the Santa Monica Pier tomorrow! We'll try to find a hook for Beth's hand while we're there. I'll have better pictures by Sunday. Then Momma flies home on the red eye Sunday night and I have to get to work. It's time to get real.

God and Arby's and the Grand Canyon

We drove from Santa Fe to Kingman, AZ today with a side trip to the Grand Canyon. It was pretty amazing, so much so that it looks like a fake Mars backdrop for a big budget blockbluster. We saw a herd of elk and a happy Momma Rigaz got to take a lot of pictures.

We also saw proof that god exists in the form of an Arby's. We were starving in Arizona and I picked up the prayer beads the Gram makes me keep in my car and said, "Baby Jesus, please bring us an Arby's or Chick-fil-a. I am freakin' hungry." Next exit had an Arby's. For real. Although there are tons of Arby's along I-40. We have also entered In N Out Burger territory, which is a religion in itself.

It's that time again for...

Momma Rigaz's Wildlife and Roadkill Report

DEAD
2 coyotes
1 deer
2 elk
1 skunk

ALIVE
A herd of 14 pronghorms
A herd of 10 elk
Millions of cows

Hmmm what else. My hair turned kind of orange because I used a different shampoo one morning, and I now have a temporary muffin top from eating Southern food. Forgot to mention the ridiculous billboards we saw in Arkansas, some damning us to hell, others reminding us all that "God is lord!" and two that were totally awesome: "Jean shorts are never okay" and "There's no such thing as a good mullet."

We saw buttloads of tumbleweeds today, but no armadillos. A wooden flute-playing shop-owner in Santa Fe told us that bored drunk guys in the South and Southwest like to stick beer cans in the arms of dead armadillos like this:

We're entering the final leg of our road trip. Only 350 miles to go (!!!), about 5 to 7 hours depending on Friday traffic. Should be a nice initiation into LA driving...

Oklahoma to uber-cool Santa Fe

We left Oklahoma around 7:30 am CST yesterday and got into New Mexico in the afternoon. The speed limit is 75 mph there -- a welcome sight after a close call with a cop in Texas -- so driving there felt like we were flying. Northern Texas was... blah, and there wasn't much in New Mexico until we reached Santa Fe.

Santa Fe is super-cool! We love it. Nashville was fun, but Santa Fe is far more interesting, with unique art and buildings. I've become a real architecture geek over the past few years, so I enjoyed checking out the historic basilica and sites around the Plaza. We stocked up on hippie-dippie handmade souvenirs like hemp shirts and a wall hanging of the patron saint of writers and editors, to protect me from burning or poisoning.

Oh, and have we mentioned yet that people are way more friendly outside the Northeast? Everyone from the shop-owners and street performers to gas station employees just seem so happy. I'll have what they're having. Even fellow travelers are helpful and friendly, sharing  road tips.

Momma Rigaz's Roadkill and Wildlife Report

DEAD
5 deer
2 coyotes
3 skunks
5 possums
3 hawks

ALIVE
1 pronghorn (looks like an antelope with more meat on its bones - cool, huh?)

When we left Oklahoma City, it was around 66 degrees. When we got to Santa Fe, the temps dropped to 53 and there was snow on the mountains. Today's trip to the Grand Canyon could prove to be treacherous. It's windy with a possibility of SNOW (sad trombone noise). We're getting an early start and hoping for the best.

Nashville, TN to Shawnee, OK

Greetings from Ooooooooo-klahoma. We drove 11 hours and stopped in Shawnee, 30 miles outside Oklahoma City. Not too much to report today, since we spent most of the day driving through boring-ass Arkansas. Driving through Memphis and West Memphis was annoying -- lots of tractor trailers changing lanes repeatedly for no reason with no blinkers, etc -- and as a former Bostonian, I'm pretty used to annoying driving. It takes a lot to piss me off. This was the worst part of our trip yet, made even worse by the lack of Chick-fil-as on today's leg of the Big Adventure. BUT today was a great day for roadkill:

Momma Rigaz's Roadkill Report
4 deer
4 armadillos (yes I said armadillos - cool, huh? - W.R.)
1 badger?
6 hawks
5 possums, or as they're known in Arkansas, "good eatin'"
3 turkeys
3 cows that were tipped, dead, or birthing baby cows

We both have stomachaches and swollen hands and feet, the culprit most likely being excessive sodium intake from the road diet. We had catfish, hush puppies, and other fried things for lunch and everyone said "y'all." Then we went to a terrible steakhouse that can't cook steak and put a stick of butter on almost everything. Just one meal from a non-chain restaurant would make me very happy.

Next up is Santa Fe, about a nine-hour drive. We're hoping to get in around 3 pm MST and check out a museum and some historic sites. I hear it's a pretty cool little city with a vibrant arts scene, so I'm psyched. Now I just need to rest up so I can enjoy it.

Viva Nashvegas!

When we left Harrisonburg, VA this morning, it was still dark. Gross. It was thundering and pouring rain, 46 degrees, and one of those "good luck" hawks following us left three big splotches on my windshield to welcome us to Tennessee. But leaving early paid off, and we got to sunny Nashville and its 80+ degree weather by 3 pm CST.

Once in downtown Nashvegas, as the locals call it, we headed to the Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum. There we saw Elvis' gold piano and pimped-out Cadillac (seriously, he set up a living room with TV in the back), saw tacky-ass country star costumes, learned that Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood are really teensy and Taylor Swift is a giant, and found out that Hank Williams was kind of a dick, but had an extensive and admirable collection of taxidermy. This is a set of squirrels he had stuffed and formed into one rockin' band:

He was also a real drunk.

Speaking of drinking, Nashville would be a real cool place to go out if I felt like bar-hopping. The people are friendly and there's music literally everywhere. Still, it's no New Orleans... I love that city. Momma Rigaz and I went to a cool dive, Robert's Western World, and then got some BBQ at Rippy's (their motto: "If you pull my pork, I'll rub your ribs").

Momma Rigaz's Wildlife and Roadkill Report

2 coyotes

5 raccoons

2 foxes

2 possums

5 groundhogs

2 turkeys

No live animals to report today.

I got to eat Krystal burgers for lunch and just had the best ice cream of my life, homemade red velvet cake flavor from Mike's Ice Cream, and now we're settling in so I can watch the Pee Wee Herman HBO special. Yes, I did the tequila dance in our hotel room.

Tomorrow we're hoping to make it to Oklahoma City, home of the musical Oklahoma and domestic terrorism. This means tomorrow's blog post will probably be the most boring blog post in the history of blog posts. Goodnight!

Ossipee, NH to Harrisonburg, VA

We left Ossipee today at 6 am and were out of New England by 11 am. Good start, right? Then we hit Pennsylvania. Oh what a doozy. Northern Pennsylvania drags on forever and is far from scenic. Southern Pennsylvania smells like cow poop, and nearly every town ends in "burg." Poopsburg.

We also drove through Maryland, briefly, but the highlights for me were West Virginia and Virginia. The speed limit on that stretch of I-81 is 70 mph. That means you can go 80 without being pulled over! Convenient, since I can't drive 55. (Of course there will probably be a pile of automated tickets from speed cameras when I get home - W.R.)

My belly hurts. Day one of our road trip diet: bacon, egg and cheese pockets, Filet O' Fish sandwiches, Combos, Twizzlers, Raisinets, Japanese food and sushi. Ouch.

Now here's Momma Rigaz with today's wildlife and roadkill report. (This is what kept us entertained.):

ALIVE
18 deer
20+ hawks (Ashley forced me to stop at 20 - W.R.)
5 Canadian geese
numerous ducks flying north in V formation (Yeah for New England! - W.R.)

DEAD!
14 deer
6 possums
8 groundhogs
4 skunks

3 fox

3 raccoon

1 moose (I can not confirm this one Ashley saw it and I was concentrating on the road - W.R.)

The temperature was 23 when we left Ossipee and 58 when we arrived in Virginia!

Tomorrow we're heading to Nashville via Knoxville. It's supposed to take nine hours. Once we're there, our plan is to take a tour, maybe hit up the Country Hall and Fame Museum (yeehaw), get some good Southern food, catch some live music, and drink in a saloon. Goodnight, y'all!

Thelma & Louise 2k11

The big adventure from New England to LA begins Sunday at 6 am. Finally. I've been saying bye to people for like three months. Thanks for all the free meals and beer guys! I'll miss most of you.

So right now I'm packing up the Matrix with the bare necessities - clothing and practical items like my infomercial juicer, coconut pirate, Mardi Gras beads, etc - to start my new West Coast life. I'll be accompanied by Momma Rigaz for my cross-country trip and for this blog. As planned, our trip includes stops in Nashville, Amarillo, Santa Fe, and the Grand Canyon.

Pictured above is my first dip in the Pacific about three years ago. Notice how I'm staring intently into the horizon. That means I'm deep. Like the ocean.

Updates to come, probably once we hit Pennsylvania on Sunday afternoon.